I'm Not Listening

I just want to say that it could possibly be true that ignorance is bliss. The more I know the more I get pissed off. The more I learn the angrier I get.

It makes me mad because there are too many things that I can’t change. Too many things that have changed me. Sometimes I think maybe there are certain things I never should have found out, because would not knowing be all that bad? Being ignorant to certain things would have probably made my life a little easier, then again it would have came with a false sense of security, so maybe it’s better this way.

I never wanted to learn about politics, because I knew it would just make me angry. The way things never seem to get done or accomplished, the way everyone lies about things and how this country seems to be going to hell in a hand basket every time I look at a newspaper. How people seem to be voting for the lesser of two evils, instead of someone who seems like a genuinely great leader. I thought being a CA would be nice because I’d learn more about how things at school work, and the thing is, they don’t work. You have to go to someone who tells you to go to someone else or someone else, or there’s a chain of bureaucracy as long as the line at the DMV. Security doesn’t seem to ever be much help, at least in no cases that I’ve heard of.

I’m jaded already. Isn’t this supposed to be the age when I think I can change the world? Aren’t I supposed to get disillusioned later?

It might be better that I’ve come to these realizations now, so that I’m not disappointed in the future. My fear is, if I’m already thinking so cynically, what’s going to happen to me in 10 years when I find out how really messed up everything is?

Disclaimer

Let’s discuss the concept of “letting go.”

It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Like all you have to do is just open your hands and you’ll be rid of it. Whatever this “it” might be. I love when people say that all you have to do is “let it go.” It’s weird advice because it sounds so easy, but it’s actually the hardest thing to do. Whether it be something you were sad or angry about, or even good things in some cases, letting go is hard. It takes the most time and effort, but you really can’t make it happen, it just has to happen naturally. It takes the most work; meanwhile it’s not something you can really hurry along. It’s the most necessary element in moving on to better things, and the phrase is misleading in that it seems like something so easily accomplished.

I first started thinking about this months and months ago when I had a lot to “let go of.” And the more time that passed and the more I was able to “let go,” I realized what a contradiction it was. On a better note, even though it sounds so easy, and is so hard- the pay off is much more than could be expected for something that sounds as simple as “letting go.” So even though this blog was more rambling than anything else- I think the point I’m trying to make is maybe adding some sort of disclaimer to this phrase. Just end it with an asterisk and explain at the bottom that it’s harder than it sounds, but hold on because the outcome is much better than you think.